There are several advantages on being 22. It's easy to rememeber your age. You don't really care for everything around you. You only get stressed with your lazy friends.

Maybe in 22 years I look back to when I was 22 and say: "Yeah, I didn't know what'd gonna be". But that's fine too. Nobody knows how it's gonna be!

I'm not a Rock'n'Rolla or a computer hacker. I'm not rich and I'm not alone. I don't have much to complaint about.

But I complaint about someone's condition:

It's been too hot lately and the sense of the macro-universe gets tight with the heat in your head. Your memory keeps tricking you and the Jazz fill the blanks.

People don't really know what to think about someone who loves Jazz. It's complicated. It's so improvised. Simple arrengement, complex details. You have to change your mind and look around you and realise there's something more going on. Noone wants to know what's really going on! It's too risky. Most times it's uncomfortable.

To care about someone is a goddamn responsability. You have to persist. Never let go entirely. You must be present. Take the time you'd be at home safely alone and spend it looking that one in the eye, face to face, seeing your masks falling down. You feel like you're gonna cry and you're affraid of the feelings going through your mind, your shaking body, the sweat on the neck.

You must be brave, courageous. You must do what you have to. The gutts to face your best friend. Your worst enemy.

Thinking deep through, you realise that time is passing by too fast for you to spend your love away. Suddenly you're losing the game and your life is wasted. You still taking those pills and nothing is really changing for good. You still locking doors, smoking naked in the bathroom, crying for your thought situation.

In the end, you just sleep with no dreams, wishing you could care about someone. Even if it's about yourself.

Wish you could still realise that too.

Listening to: Emotion Sickness by Silverchair